FAIRFAX, VA – Representative Liz Cheney (R – WY) held a press conference Friday in which she revealed research done by her campaign team into her 37 point loss to Primary challenger Harriet Hageman on August 16th.

Cheney’s Primary loss was the second largest by an incumbent in 60 years.

“My campaign team has identified several key factors for why I did not prevail in the Primary,” Cheney stated. “Contributing factors included low voter IQ and lack of vote-counter funding. However, the primary factor for my loss is because I did not wear a cowboy hat during my campaign stops in Wyoming.”

Cheney then turned the podium over to political consultant, Todd Toadie, who stated, “Our research now shows that in the Mountain West states, for an unpopular candidate to win, the candidate MUST wear a cowboy hat. Ms. Cheney failed to do that. Look at neighboring Idaho, for example. Brad Little is generally considered to be a Democrat who claims to be Republican because it’s a red state. He wore a cowboy hat and won his Primary. Our research is clear. The lack of a cowboy hat is the main reason Ms. Cheney did not prevail.”

When asked about her future plans, Cheney stated, “Well, I won’t be living in Hicksvil– uh, Wyoming. My best friend Adam Schiff has asked me to be his political advisor, so I’ll officially be joining his team. Also, MSNBC has offered me a primetime show which we’re hoping to call, “Trump Sucks.”

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