KUNA, ID – Facebook / Meta founder Mark Zuckerberg today announced plans that he will be purchasing the entire city of Kuna, Idaho.
The move comes only months after announcing the construction of an $800 million data center to be located east of Kuna.
“It was clear, after we decided to build our data center, that we would need more space. In anticipation of that future growth, we decided that we would purchase all of Kuna.” Zuckerberg said.
With the purchase of Kuna, Zuckerberg outlined many upcoming changes for the town. One change will require all maps of Idaho to be updated, as Zuckerberg plans to rename the town Metaberg. “Nobody can pronounce Kuna correctly anyway,” he added.
Another change will be that all current Kuna residents will be relocated to a several thousand-unit housing project in an unincorporated area near the state penitentiary which Zuckerberg is building. Additionally, after the purchase is complete, all human communication coming into or out of Metaberg must be done only via Facebook. Zuckerberg’s wife, Priscilla Chan, added that once the town is renamed, all dogs within city limits must be robotic.
“Meta will continue to grow,” Zuckerberg said, as he hinted about additional future changes. “I can see the distinct possibility of needing to purchase Meridian as well.”
The Idaho Pea reached out to the governor’s office for comment, but was told that Brad Little was vacationing at his new beach house on a remote tropical island. His press secretary said that he’s fine with what Zuckerberg is doing. She also said he’s looking forward to when the Meta corporation takes over Meridian, adding, “He hopes it’s sometime during the next four years.”